[Nille]

En venninde av meg har skrevet dette. Hun har vært overvektig oppigjennom oppveksten og har tatt av 75 kilo i løpet av de tre siste årene. En kjempejobb det stpr stor respekt av. Nå sliter hun med å stoppe vekttapet. I dag er hun altfor tynn. Hun får panikk når hun legger på seg. To tre kilo og hun føler seg feit. Men hun MÅ spise. Hun kan mer om lavkarbo kosthold enn de fleste jeg kjenner. Hun vet hva hun gjør feil - at hun har spiseforstyrrelse(r) er det ingen tvil om. Hun har hatt/har dem alle.... Men hun klarer ikke gjøre noe med det. Hun klarer ikke å kontrollere på den rette måten. Heldigvis har hun mange rundt seg som vil hjelpe henne. Jeg ville bare poste det her, - et tankekors........

Spørsmålet hun har svarer på:
"Perhaps the real problem is that you're afraid to be thin. because if you achieve that, and you're still not happy, then what else is there?
just a thought"

Opprinnelig lagt inn av Nora

I suddenly realized that what you said was definitely a piece of the puzzle. For my entire life I've been telling myself "this sucks because I'm fat" (this sucks being a variable for whatever obstacle I was faced with at the given time: be it socializing, making friends, going to school, looking nice, feeling good about myself, having hopes and dreams...). Some of it was true in that it would be easier if I was thin, and some of the problems were caused by my heaviness (for example my problems socializing and making friends might have begun early in life when I was ostracized for being an obese kid, and, being as sensitive as I am, I completely withdrew and hurt badly in private). But basically I came to depend on this myth that all my problems would go away when I reached a perfect weight.

So then when I started to diet I started saying "when I'm thin everything will be perfect". I stopped feeling hopeless (because fatness was now something I could change, whereas before, it was just this affliction I was struck with). I got hope. But, I still was buying into the illusion that being thin would fix my problems.

When I did get thin and things changed only a little, I felt ... empty. I do miss the myth of thin, that things will be SO MUCH BETTER when I get there (or that "I could do that if I weren't fat"). Fat was a nice scapegoat you know.

Subconsciously this is a big reason why I miss being fat. I have nothing to hide behind. There is no obvious "block" protecting me, to blame for problems. Likewise there is no "dream" to aspire to as when dieting (hope of change). Missing being fat is really just me missing taking the easy way out (of life). Living in an eggshell, is a fat life for me. I'm here but not here, I'm hiding and dormant potential.
Dieting answers a different need - a need to feel purposeful and hopeful and like I'm going somewhere better. "If I get a little thinner everything will be great". Fills you with hope and joy. But it's a cycle because you really can't be happier by becoming thinner (if you are not overweight to the point where it is a problem).

These are psychological traps, both of them, (safety/comfort in fat, direction/purpose/control in dieting). Thank you for making me more cognizant of them.