Marit's lille hjørne. ;-)...

[Summer]

Det var kjempekoselig å stå opp og lese disse koselige innleggene i dag!

[Marit]

Takk for oppmuntrig og fine ord Lise og MHM

MHM, jo det blir litt lite søvn av og til, men sove det kan jeg gjøre når jeg blir gammel.
Må ta en del igjen på formiddagen, ja

Men nå er det snart slutt, kurset mitt begynner på mandag, og da må jeg bare opp litt tidligere, Grøss og gru.

Marit.

[Sonna]

He he så søtt.

[Marit]

I want you to know

that I believe in us
and in all the things
that have made our love
so beautiful and meaningful.

I believe in you

and in the thoughtful, sensitive,
caring person you are.

I've come to cherish

so many special things about you
your smile, your reassuring touch
the way you understand me
sometimes better
than I understand myself.

And I want you to know

that I'll always be there for you
I'll always believe in us.

I love you.

[Marit]

Irriterende svenske

På en kafé sitter en nordmann og spiser frokost, og Ved siden av ham sitter en svenske som tygger tyggegummi.

Uoppfordret innleder svensken en samtale: "Spiser dere nordmenn egentlig hele brødet?"

Nordmannen lar motvillig frokosten ligge og svarer: "Ja, naturligvis!".

Svensken leker med tyggegummien i munnen og sier: "Det gjør vi ikke hos oss, hos oss i Sverige spiser vi kun det innerste av brødet. Brødskorpene blir samlet i en container, bearbeidet og formet til croissanter og solgt til Norge."

Nordmannen hører bare så vidt etter. Svensken smiler og spør videre: "Spiser dere også syltetøy til brødet?"

Nordmannen svarer lett irritert: "Ja, naturligvis".

Mens svensken tygger tyggegummi mellom tennene, sier han: "Ikke hos oss, hos oss i Sverige spiser vi kun frisk frukt til frokost. Skallene og restene blir samlet i en container, bearbeidet til syltetøy og solgt til Norge."

Nå er det blitt nordmannens tur til å spørre!

"Si meg en ting", spør nordmannen. "Har dere også sex i Sverige?"

Svensken smiler og svarer: "Ja, naturligvis har vi sex i Sverige!"

Nordmannen lener seg over bordet og spør :

"Hva gjør dere med kondomene etter at de er brukt?"

"Dem kaster vi da!", svarer svensken.

Nå begynner nordmannen virkelig å smile.

"Ikke hos oss, hos oss i Norge blir alle brukte kondomer samlet i en container, bearbeidet, smeltet og solgt til Sverige som tyggegummi

[Marit]

Ekstremt smart datamaskin
En dag hadde Bill så vondt i armen at han sa til kompisen sin, "Jeg har ekstremt vondt i albuen.. Tror du jeg bør besøke en legen?"

"Nei, ikke gå til legen.. Besøk heller den nye datamaskinen på apoteket!! Den kan finne ut hva som er galt med deg mye raskere og billigere enn en lege! Bare gi den en skvett av urinen din og legg ved 50 kroner.", sa kompisen

”Jeg har nå ingenting å tape”, tenkte Bill, så han fylte opp et lite glass med urin og gikk til apoteket. Når han kom frem tømte han urinen oppi beholderen ved siden av datamaskinen og puttet på 50 kroner.

Datamaskinen begynte å lage mange merkelige lyder, og av og til så kom det også noen ekstremt sterke lysglimt.. Etter en liten stund kom det ut en liten notis med følgende tekst:

Du har tennisalbue
Hold armen fuktig i varmt vann
Unngå tunge løft
Du vil være bedre innen 2 uker
Sent samme dag, så satt Bill å tenkte over hvilken fantastisk teknologi denne datamaskinen inneholdt og hvordan den kan forandre verden for alltid.. Han lurte også på om det gikk an å lure denne datamaskinen så for å prøve så fant han et glass og tømte litt vann fra springen oppi sammen med litt avføring fra hunden, urin fra konen og urin fra datteren.. Og som om dette ikke var nok så onanerte han og slapp en liten dæsj sæd i glasset.

Når han var kommet til datamaskinen tømte han innholdet av glasset i beholderen og puttet på 50 kroner.. Etter en liten stund så kom en liten notis med følgende skrift:

Springvannet ditt er forurenset
Begynn å kjøp vann på flaske

Hunden din har ormer
Kjøp vitaminer til den

Datteren din går på kokain
Få henne på avvenning

Konen din er gravid med tvillinger
De er ikke dine
Skaff en advokat

Og hvis du ikke slutter å onanere, så blir tennisalbuen din aldri bedre!




Litt på kanten denne, men kjempebra!!!

[Marit]

Synes denne passer bra i disse dager!

Beklager om jeg støter noen.


Tredje Verdenskrig
George Bush og Tony Blair står i en bar og prater sammen. En gjest kommer bort og spør hva de prater om.

"Vi legger planer for 3. verdenskrig", svarer Bush.

"Å nei", sier gjesten. "Og hvordan lyder planen?"

"Vi tenker på å ta livet av 14 millioner muslimer og en IT-konsulent", sier Bush.

Gjesten blir bare stående og måpe.

"En...IT-konsulent?" sier han. "Hvorfor det? Hvorfor i all verden skal dere ta livet av en IT-konsulent?"

Da klapper George Bush Tony Blair på skulderen og sier, "Hva var det jeg sa? Ingen kommer til å spørre etter muslimene."

[magdalena]

Den var veldig bra! Selv om jeg har både for og mot argumenter til den..

[Marit]

Man lærer av en fireåring
Barnesikre hus finnes ikke.

Stemmen til en fireåring er høyere en 200 voksne på en restaurant.

Motoren i en takvifte er ikke sterk nok til rotere med en gutt på 21 kg i supermanndrakt hengende i et hundebånd festet i et vifteblad.

Motoren på en takvifte er sterk nok til å spre maling på alle fire vegger i et rom som måler 6x6 meter.

Baseballer lager merker i taket.

Du bør ikke hive baseballer innendørs når takviften er på.

En takvifte kan slå en baseball langt.

Glasset i et vindu ( ikke engang et dobbelt termopanvindu ) kan ikke stoppe en baseball slått av en takvifte.

Når du hører toalettet spyle ned etterfulgt av ordene "Åh åh" er det allerede for sent.

Bremsevæske og bensin lager masse røyk.

Et forstørrelsesglass kan lage ild selv på en overskyet dag.

Hvis du bruker en vannseng som hjemmebase når du har på deg piggsko lekker den ikke. Den eksploderer.

En stor vannseng inneholder nok vann til å fylle et hus på 200 kvadratmeter nesten to centimeter dypt.

Lego kan passere gjennom fordøyelsessystemet til en fireåring.

Duplo kan ikke passere gjennom fordøyelsessystemet til en fireåring.

Superlim er for alltid.

Uansett hvor mye gelepulver du tømmer i et svømmebasseng kan du fremdeles ikke gå på vannet.

Filtrene i svømmebassenget liker ikke gele.

Videospillere kan ikke spille av vafler.

Søppelposer er dårlige fallskjermer.

Småstein i hjulkapslene bråker når du kjører.

Du vil egentlig ikke vite hvor den lukten kommer fra...

Se alltid inn i ovnen før du slår den på.

Plastikkleker og varmeovner er en dårlig kombinasjon.

Brannvesenet har minst fem minutters responstid.

En sentrifuge i en vaskemaskin kan ikke gjøre meitemark svimmel, men en katt kan bli det.

Katter kaster opp sin egen kroppsvekt to ganger når de er svimle.

Humor vil hjelpe deg gjennom livet

[Marit]

Remember When:

you were born a daughter.

you looked up to your mother.

you looked up to your father.

you looked up to everyone.

you wanted to be a princess.

you wanted to own a horse.

you wanted your brother to be a horse.

you wanted to wear pink.

you never wanted to wear pink.

you wanted to be a veterinarian.

you wanted to be president.

you wanted to be the president's veterinarian.

you were picked last for the team.

you were the best one on the team.

you refused to be on the team.

you wanted to do well in algebra.

you hid during algebra.

you wanted boys to notice you.

you were afraid the boys would notice you.

you started to get acne.

you started to get breasts.

you started to get acne that was bigger than your breasts.

you wouldn't wear a bra.

you couldn't wait to wear a bra.

you couldn't fit into a bra.

you didn't like the way you looked.

you didn't like the way your parents looked.

you didn't want to grow up.

you had your first best friend.

you had your first date.

you spent hours on the telephone.

you got kissed.

you got to kiss back.

you didn't go to the prom.

you went to the prom with the wrong person.

you spent hours on the telephone.

you fell in love.

you fell in love.

you fell in love.

you lost your best friend.

you lost your other best friend.

you really fell in love.

you became a steady girlfriend.

you became a significant other.

you became significant to yourself.

sooner or later, you start to take yourself seriously.

you know when you need a break.

you know when you need a rest.

you know what to get worked up about, and what to get rid of and you know when it's time to take care of yourself,

when it's time to do something that makes you stronger, faster, & more confident. because you know it's never too late to live life and never too late to change one.

Author Unknown

[Marit]

Hvilket kjønn er datamaskinen

En fransklærer fortalte klassen at i motsetning til engelsk, har alle franske ord et kjønn, enten hankjønn eller hunkjønn.

En av elevene rakk opp hånden…

– Hvilket kjønn har en datamaskin?

Læreren var i tvil, så hun delte klassen i to grupper, den ene bestående av guttene, og den andre av jentene, for å få dem til å gi 4 grunner hver for hvilket kjønn en datamaskin burde ha.

Jentene er enige om at datamaskiner må være hankjønn. Årsakene er klare :

”Man er nødt til å tenne dem for å få deres oppmerksomhet.”

”De innholder masse data som de selv ikke forstår.”

”Det er meningen at de skal hjelpe deg med alle dine problemer, men det meste av tiden er det de som er problemet.”

”Så snart du har anskaffet deg en, innser du at hvis du hadde ventet litt lenger så kunne du fått en bedre.”

Guttene har den motsatte oppfatningen. De mener datamaskinen er hunkjønn :

”Bare skaperen forstår deres indre logikk.”

”De bruker et uforståelig språk til å kommunisere seg i mellom.”

”Selv den minste feil blir lagret i langtidshukommelsen og kan hentes fram når som helst.”

”Når du har skaffet deg en må du bruke halvparten av lønnen på å kjøpe ekstrautstyr.”

[Marit]

Lise og katten

Lise hadde en skjønn, gammel hannkatt, og den stelte og dullet hun med ved enhver anledning. Hun elsket den over alt på denne jord. St.Peter syntes dette var slikt et rørende tegn på omsorg at han dro på besøk til Lise.

– Siden du har vært så snill og god mot denne katten din og stelt så pent med den, skal du få ett ønske oppfylt. Hva ønsker du deg?, sa St.Peter

Lise tenkte seg om et øyeblikk

– Jeg ønsker at katten min skal bli en høy, kjekk kar i passende alder for meg, og han vil elske meg like høyt som jeg elsker ham.

– Da skal det bli slik!, sa St. Peter.

Etter noen få øyeblikk sto den kjekkeste mannen du kan forestille deg foran henne. Lise ble stående helt stum av beundring. Da bøyde mannen seg frem og hvisket til Lise.

– Jaja, nå kan du angre på at du kastrerte meg i fjor...!

[Marit]

A warm and special welcome

to your precious bundle of joy!

Sending prayers and special wishes

For your baby and you.

God showering blessings

On this life that is new.

Wishing hearts of happiness,

Each and every day

Shared by family and friends,

In your child's own special way.

Congratulations on this precious miracle of life!

Author: Marie A. Glossop

[Marit]

I want to love forever.

You're still the one

I want to wake up with every morning

and snuggle with every night,

the one I want to share

my dreams with,

build castles in the air with,

the one whose hand I want to

hold when I'm afraid,

whose shoulder I want to lean on

when I need support.

You're still the one

I want to

encourage to make your own

dreams come true,

the one I want to comfort

when you need a source of strength

the one I want to hold

close always.

You're still the one

the only one,

I want to love forever.

author Renee Duvall

[Marit]

'Twas there I met a special friend

Who stole away my heart

There is a place within my heart

Where memories of you lie.

A place I visit from time to time;

A place that shall never die.

A place that no one knows about

Except for a very few.

A place that I have set aside

Especially for you.

I go to this place whenever I feel

Lonely when we're apart.

I go to this place whenever I need

You to touch my heart.

You shall always be in this place;

No one could fill your shoes.

No one else could take your place,

For I give my heart to you.

Yes, I give you my heart

Sharing love each day, from the very start.

For when I visit that special room.

Where my heart sometimes does stay.

And find you there.

I wonder where,

You've been before today.

I thought Of you today,

And in my heart you'll always stay.

And may you never love in vain.

And in my heart you will remain.

It's sharing everyday affairs,

With someone who understands and cares.

Happiness can't be defined,

It's a certain mood, a state of mind.

Cause you`ll always be in my heart.

[nalana]

...datamaskinene var så morsom at jeg mått le høyt

Kopierer den og sender til et par venner jeg. OK?

[Marit]

To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true.


To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child's eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us. When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again.

To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it.

To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen, And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

If only we believe.

Author unknown

[Marit]

CAN LOVE YOU LIKE THAT

I feel deep in my heart and soul,

That you and I were meant to be.

Life has it's own way of bringing

Two people together, & I believe

That is what happened, with you & me.

Destiny brought us together,

To share in such a beautiful love.

A love more great than I have ever

Before known,that truly is a precious

Gift to me, from the Lord above.

Every word that is spoken,

I feel so deeply in my heart.

Your words remain within me always,

Warms my heart and my soul.

Every touch that I have felt,

Has let me know just how much you

Have cared. I remember every tender

Moment we have spent together, and

Everything beautiful, we have shared.

[Marit]

My Love Never Fades

You touch my soul

You are there in every way

As I lay here next to you

My eyes gaze upon you

Fingers run over your lips

You Are My Everything

Tender Sweet nothings

Blowing in my ear

I found a true love

That sets me on fire

I love you in every way

Bringing us together forever

Never to part, forever linked

As my love will never fade

A devine love that took us

Deeper, melding us as one

When mornings seem

Like everything is so good

Waking up to your smile

Rolling over on my side

Starts my day on a bright note

Putting a spark in my walk

As my love will never fade.

Klem Marit.

[Marit]

LOVE IS

Love is the best thing in the world ...

And the thing that lives longest.

Love is something to share with a wonderful person,

And once it's there, you've got to make it last.

Love isn't something to be taken for granted ...

It's something to be nurtured,

And cared for and caressed.

Love can last forever ...

If you want it to.

Love isn't tough and tentative ...

It's wonderful and gentle and tender.

Love is mysterious ...

But it asks that you keep no secrets.

Love is blind ...

But it asks that you see how happy it can make you.

Love is more like a flower than a tree ...

The wrong things can hurt it so easily.

But the right things can make it more beautiful

Than anything else your life has ever know.

Love is something to be treated

As the best of blessings ...

And as your own little miracle

That will keep coming true ...

As long as you want it to.

~ Author Unknown ~

[Marit]

20 Good Things To Say About You!

1. You listen to me and sit by me thru good and bad!

2. I can be myself, with you!

3. God made you special, cause you are unique in your own way!

4. You seem to care alot!

5. Love me for who I am!

6. You read my emails and then respond back when others wouldn`t have!

7. You make me smile even when things are tough!

8. When I mess up, you are ready to forgive me!

9. Say the nicest things to me!

10. Your hugs go a long ways online or offline!

11. When I cry you cry with me!

12. You share in my life circumstances!

13. Every thought that comes from you has been good towards me!

14. You speak from your heart!

15. You think about me every day!

16. Your presence and friendship fills my every day need!

17. You are very cute when you are angry, :-)

18. Online you send me the best cards cause you care!

19. You inspire me to keep going on!

20. You don`t care how I look, I can look anyway I want!

[Marit]

You are the Love of my life.

Brought Together as one.

You fill my life up with

Unmeasurable Love.

My heart tell me you were,

The one from day one.

When I wake up next to you,

A reaasuring smile crosses my lips.

Your touch brings goose bumps.

With trusting eyes I lean against

Your chest, feeling secure &

A Love that last forever.

Never stop holding me, loving me &

Or looking into my eyes.

Your embrace holds my heart together.

Finding peace in my soul,

Knowing I found that special person.

You are my guiding star,

My everything,

That completes my life.

[Marit]

Let's Make Love Tonight

Baby I've been drifting away

And dreaming all day

Of holding you; touching you

The only thing I wanna do is be with you

As close to you as I can be

Let's make love All night long

Until all your strenght is gone

Hold on tight Just let go

I want to feel you in my soul

Until the sun comes up Let's make love

Do you know what you do to me

Everything inside of me Is wanthing you, needing you

I'm so in love with you Loock into my eyes

Let's get lost tonight In each other

Let's make love All night long

Untill all our strenght is gone

Hold on tight Just let go

I want to feel you in my soul

Until the sun comes up Let's make love

To my love Olav

~Song by Faith Hill & Tim McGrav~

[Marit]

My love for you it will be forever

I promised you to work out the problems together
If you ever needs me I'll give it my all
And work out the troubles be they big or small.

I'll hold you when you`re down
And from your face I'll take your frown
I only wish to make you see
I'll give you nothing but honesty

My goal in life is to make you smile
And as for that I'd walk more than a mile
If you ever needs anything all you need do is ask
Because I feel that's an easy task.

I really do love you so
There is nowhere I wouldn't go
I'd cross deserts and mountains and even the sea
Because with you is where I should be
When I'm with you there's nothing to say
Except I promise to love you each & every day
Nothing could be more important to do
Than just being there for you.

Miss you vennen min.

[Marit]

Don't Look Back

As you travel through life

there are always those times

when decisions just have to be made

when the choices are hard,

and solutions seem scarce

and the rain seems

to soak your parade!

*

There are some situations

where all you can do

is to simply let go and move on

gather courage together

and choose a direction

that carries you toward a new dawn.

*

So pack up your troubles

and take a step forward

the process of change can be tough

but think about all the excitement ahead

if you can be stalwart enough!

There could be adventures

you never imagined

just waiting around the next bend

and wishes and dreams

just about to come true

in ways you can't yet comprehend!

*

Perhaps you'll find friendships

that spring from new interests

as you challenge your status quo

and learn there are so many

options in life,

and so many ways you can grow!

*

Perhaps you'll go places

you never expected

and see things that you've never seen

or travel to fabulous,

faraway worlds

and wonderful spots in between!

*

Perhaps you'll find warmth

and affection and caring,

a "somebody special" who's there

to help you stay centered

and listen with interest

to stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort

in knowing your friends are

*

supportive of all that you do

and believe that whatever

decisions you make,

they'll be the right choices for you!

So keep putting one foot in front of the other

and taking your life day by day.

*

There's a brighter tomorrow

that's just down the road.

Don't look back,

you're not going that way!